Midol
by Heartbroken Confession
Summary: You stomp around campus like some Persona wannabe. Aren't you supposed to be Saint Mikan or something? Putting coins into parking meters for poor drivers short on coins. Come PMS and you're out for blood. Blood of cute stuff. Like. Babies. And roosters."


For **My Hopeless Romanti**c because I told her I'd write her a story when I had time because she asked me to and yeah. What story more appropriate to write for her other than my 33rd? And one about period medication. Right. Okay. And she's a mofo who needs to get her bum on MSN.

I don't own Gakuen Alice.. or any Midol, actually. I should get some.

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**Midol**

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"Stop ignoring your inner desires."

"It's bad for you."

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_Heartbroken Confession_

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It was the scariest day of the month in Alice Academy. The cautious treaded warily and quietly through the hallways throughout class time and slinked into the safety of their dorms afterward. Meanwhile, the foolish stormed around carelessy, their feet stomping and mouths flapping. Though the population of said fools were rare and few, explaining the empty and quiet atmosphere of the Alice Academy campus.

Hyuuga Natsume shoved open the door to his dorm, giving his standard issued middle school uniform blazer a tug, determined to make it messy. He scratched the patch of skin behind his ear and sighed. He got back from a mission a few hours earlier and had opted out of class to pay the hospital a quick visit. But, he felt like he was forgetting something—something about today was giving him a bad feeling. A feeling that wrenched his insides and made him want to squirm.

But Hyuuga Natsume did not do squirming.

The second he spotted a brunette sprawled with her upper half on his dining table and her book bag tossed onto the ground, he knew what was wrong.

"Polka dots. Want to get your disgusting slobber off the place where I eat?"

"UM. NO. I'M BLEEDING FROM MY PERSONAL AREA WHILE MY STOMACH BLOATS AND CONTORTS IN PAIN, WHILE THE REST OF MY MUSCLES ACHE LIKE HELL, ALL IN THE MEANWHILE MY HORMONES ARE HAVING A JOLLY GOOD TIME ACTING UP. WHAT'D YOU DO TODAY? RUN YOUR STUPID FACE INTO A WALL?"

Natsume blinked and tossed his blazer onto a chair. He briefly recalled dodging a bullet by hurriedly shoving himself behind a wall for cover, subsequently getting himself a slap of brick in the face. Maybe she had the psychic alice, along with the five million others.

"Don't be stupid," He snorted, lifting her bag from the ground and plopping it onto the table. He proceeded to pull out her biology textbook and a mechanical pencil. "How'd you get in here anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She groaned, placing a hand over her abdominal area. "Just tutor me, jerkface."

"No need to be so nice about it." He sneered and flipped to the bookmarked page only to quirk a brow. "The reproductive system. Really?"

"Oh, the irony." She mumbled, her face still planted to the cold, polished wood of his special star table. "Get on with it. I will persevere."

"I don't know how much I could tell you about the reproductive system—"

"Hyuuga Natsume, did you just make a sexual innuendo about your virginity?"

"--Because I haven't learned it yet." He cringed his nose. "You're messed up in the head."

"I don't need that coming from you, of all people." She exhaled, blowing a piece of her auburn bangs away from her eyes while she turned her head to face him. "And well then. You'll probably pick it up faster than me."

"That's a given."

"Shut up. I was going to say because I can barely even think without keeling over."

"I thought that was a normal thing for you."

"Oh, will you stop being such a smartass?" She sniffled. "I'm not in any condition to be battling it out with you. My first objective for today is to be able to move without my brain threatening to explode."

"What brain." He blocked a slap. "And your second objective of the day?"

"That would be trying to keep my brain from combusting without passing out."

"Sounds like a productive day." He flipped through a few of the pages. Frowning at a few overly detailed diagrams, he stopped at a relatively picture-free page. "Think you can handle the Fallopian tube without puking your guts out?"

"Yes. But I don't think I can learn about it without wanting to rip it out and become a boy."

"…That was a disturbing visual."

"Indeed it was. I have a bit of a heightened imagination when I'm at this time of month."

"How about the uterus?"

"Um. No."

"Cervix?"

"Not in the mood."

"Ovaries."

"Ew."

"Vagin—"

"Will you stop with the female organs?!"

Natsume smirked and Mikan's amber eyes widened at her unintentional implication. "I did not mean it—"

"Would you rather learn about the male reproductive system, then?"

Mikan shot him an exasperated glare and let her head fall back onto the table. "I admit defeat. I'll just take a failing grade in Biology. Then I'll go and get a partial sex change and join the flipping traveling circus. I'll become a Carny. I can be the bearded man with the boobs and half a—"

"Carnies work at Carnivals." Natsume stated in a matter-of-fact tone before slamming the textbook shut. "And that's a _great _attitude to take on. Though I can't say I support your decisions, Polka."

"Why?" She snorted. "Because you won't be able to look at my underwear without being accused of being a homosexual?"

"You make it sound like I actually want to see your disgusting, pee-stained underwear."

"Skin marks!" Mikan attempted to kick him from under the table, but he dodged easily and she ended up with a stubbed toe. She whimpered and Natsume let out a sigh, giving a shake of his head. He pushed his chair backwards and stepped into his kitchen, still within hearing range of the suffering female. "You're so mean to me. Even though here I am, suffering Mother Nature's _wrath_. Wrath that you will never know, thanks to your stupid testosterone. I mean, how is that even fair? There should at least be some kind of law that prevents assholes like you from being all douchebag-like when girls are menstruating. Cause you know, my life sucks enough an—"

"Will this get you to shut up?" Natsume slammed a blue and white box onto the table and Mikan shut her mouth long enough to look at it. Her eyes widened and a grateful gasp escaped her lips.

"Oh my god. You are my _hero_!" She swiped the box off the table and squealed. "Midol! The answer to my prayers—the conqueror of periods!"

"I can't believe you never bothered to buy any. God knows that every time you get to this time of month you go stomping around campus like some Persona wannabe. Aren't you supposed to be Saint Mikan or something? Putting coins into parking meters for poor drivers short on coins—" "—That was _once_—" "And then come PMS and you're out for blood." He frowned, his eyebrows creasing. "Blood of cute things. Like. Babies. And roosters."

"Natsume." She gave him a pointed stare. "Just shut up and let me thank you for once."

Natsume snorted.

"I miss the days when you were all dark, and quiet and brooding. You were more attractive when you were verbally challenged."

Natsume's crimson eyes narrowed and he kicked his chair back. Flicking open her book and pointing at the page. "Just study."

She laughed. "You know I love you."

"Just. Study." He repeated."

She waved him off and closed the tab on the box. She looked down at the page and began intently reading. A silence enveloped them, but only for a few short minutes before an idea started nagging away at Mikan's mind.

"Natsume?"

"What now?"

"Why _do_ you have Midol in your oh so manly posession?"

"…Shut up and read."

Mikan laughed and let the subject drop for another few minutes before putting in the last word.

"Stop ignoring your inner desires." She giggled. "It's bad for you."

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"Hey, Natsume, there's this great surgeon and—"

"For the last time, Polka, I do not secretly desire to become a woman."

Silence. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah." Smirk. "And besides, then that would make you a lesbian."

"Touché."

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Yes.. that was...crude. Great dinner topic with the family, really.

Um. Heh. I hope you enjoyed?


End file.
